Sunday, October 5, 2008

What I love

No pictures today, so if you are here for pictures, nope sorry no pictures to share, just some feelings I would like to let out. =/

In these holidays I've been doing completely nothing, most of the time just online or playing Harvest Moon. Also I went to the ACGC and recently got hooked on reading Lolita Secrets(got to know it from misshermes's MSN personal message lol). It made me realized something.

Some of you might know, I've been taking piano classes since April. I never expected that I would do so since when I was young I had turned down my mum's suggestion to learn piano. LOL I told her my hand would hurt. Well it will when you play too much and I still think that it will hurt.

But ever since I saw X Japan's Yoshiki, I was like wow. I never saw someone this amazing in my life. He plays the piano, he plays the drum, and composes different genres of song - Heavy Metal and beautiful classical. Fuck I'm so touched when I "discovered" him. And he's my inspiration now. And so I asked my mum whether I could learn piano, but noooooo 'cause we have no extra money for me to learn.

So being desperate, I used all of the money that I earned while working as a sales person to secretly buy a keyboard(hid it at my friend's house), and pay the fees myself.

Well the money eventually ran out so I used my allowance my mum gave me. My allowance was only RM150 each month so I have to minus RM90 from it and leave me RM60 to survive. However I minus RM10 from the RM60 as a saving which leave me RM50 to survive every month. D=

And I pulled it off really well, until the fees was increased to

I wanted to hide it forever but I certainly cannot survive 1 whole month with just RM 40. And it's getting really, REAAAAAALLLLYYY hard to find excuses to get out of the house for piano lessons during holidays.

So I told them, my parents, that I was learning piano.

My mum didn't like the idea of me lying, but my dad took it really well though and helped me paid my fees from that moment on. My mum later accepted it and my lovely keyboard came home and is now happily at my living room.

I was actually planning to buy a Nintendo DS Lite with that money but meh, I love my keyboard. =D

Before I took the piano class I was thinking, am I too old for this? But after getting to know from my sis's friend that learns piano, she said that she saw this old man at the piano exam and needed help on walking. O_O Determination aye?

I won't give up piano, and after a few years of piano, I will retake violin, 'cause it's still my favourite instrument of all. I gave up 'cause it's really REALLY HARD TO PLAY. lol

The next thing is, I love anime/manga. Well this isn't a secret, everyone I know in real life knows that I love to buy comics and spent A LOT on them. I got a cabinet of comics(will blog about them later) and I LOVE IT!!

Recently it's not enough anymore.

I know that all otakus owns figurine. I saw, I want BUT I was too cheap to buy them and I know I will never save enough money for it. And cosplaying. I've been saying that I want to cosplay since a few years ago yet I'm still here, with zero cosplays. I made myself believe that I will NEVER have enough money for them. Having comics is more than enough.

Until I went to ACGC 2008.

I saw cosplays. Figurines.


I was always alone, I was always in those excitement, alone. When I was there at the cosplay competition I was seeing all the anime lovers cheering and screaming with excitment while the competition was on. I wasn't alone. I won't have to go like "oh what song is this? oh it's from this anime bla bla bla". THEY ALL KNEW.

For the first time I feel this happiness grew inside of me. lol Yes exaggerating much but it's true. D= And the cosplayers look soooo lovely! Seeing the characters come to life, and Suigintou... I wanted to cosplay that about 4 years ago. And never did. Regret much? Yes. =(

After I used my allowance on piano classes I realized that I CAN SAVE money. I CAN!! I CAN BUY FIGUREINES, I CAN COSPLAY!!

However, I'm 21 soon. =( I see in the forums, most of them are so much younger than me. I feel old. =( I'm afraid I won't be accepted in the group, since I'm new and old. And I'm bad at socializing. It's awkward sometimes 'cause I really wanna meet new people, but I'm afraid of what people might think of me so in the end I just kept quiet.

AND I speak terrible english.

Sometimes I just wish that I won't care what people might think of what I'm saying.

Like in forums, I seldom join the chat afraid that I won't be accepted. So I just lurk around. =/

Now I'm trying to be a little more active in Comic Fiesta forums and also MA Kingdom. =/

I just wanna do what I wanna do before I get old and die. lol

Well, it's a start. =3



P/S: I won't tell my mum that though(cosplays). She hates these things. Sigh. Have to hide it from her again. =(


kim-chan said...

my mom also don't like me into cosplay stuffs. ahahaha T_T
but i guess buying figurine is a okay for me. XD let's save money together and buy it! I really want Enma Ai grrrrrr lol

ganbatte for your piano lesson X3 ehehehe and ganbatte for tomorrow's class too ^^ new start kara

=::~+Reiko+~::= said...

I got no pocket money for myself to do these things I want/ like already... *sob sob*

But I plan la~ If my son wanna learn music instruments, I will learn piano that time... hehe~

Hope I'm not too old for this!

连小凤 said...

hey~ ur not too old!! XD our oldest cosplayer is 31 years old!!

=P 2nd oldest I know in my circle is 26 =P

as long u do it right ba~

kurokei said...

kim-chan: thanks! ganbarimasu!! ^^ and lets go buy figurines! XD

reiko: won't too old de la. like the old man i heard at the piano exam. lol

guki: O_O 31! cosplay here i come! =D

连小凤 said...

go buy figurine at baaa XDDD

and ahahaha welcome to cosplay anytime! *english rosak*

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