Thursday, July 17, 2008

Yet another emo

Everyday it's the same story, I'm acting like this again and again, but nothing seems to change much.

I had been emotional and mentally weak ever since the day I realized.

What did I realized?

Anyway this blog entry is all the things I wanted to say but couldn't 'cause I can't express them in speech.

As soon as I thought of something and wanted to type this out, I then realized that I don't even know what I'm trying to say.

Ok here goes.

Why should I do this?

Why would I want this?

I asked myself, she asked me.

Is it worth it?

Yes, a faint voice inside of me answered.

I holded my tears, I try to hold back. Nothing actually works.

I know I shouldn't be selfish, but who am I to speak?

Yes, I'm jealous. It might be not what I think it is, but yes, I will still. Whenever I saw it.... A strange rage was built inside of me.

I tried to control, I tried.

I tried to seal it, I tried.

It's hard, but still I have to.

If I don't........ I'm sure, I will be crushed.

I wanted to cry, I couldn't. Not infront of you.

But when I went back home, I was too tired to let out my emotions, so I kept it.

And the arrival of the next day, it's the same thing over and over again.

Why am I pushing myself? I don't know.

Why have I become like this?

I'm used to it already, whenever I'm in that condition.

I want to shout, I want to run, I want to cry, but I couldn't. It's such a horrible feeling, but I'm trying hard to cope with it.

I guess I'm still young. lol

I never expected that I will be so poisoned.

Yes, I might be...


You don't have to understand what I'm saying here, I'm just trying to express my feelings, in a unusual way.



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