Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Emo emo

It's been really stressful for me these days.

Even though I've move house, and I'm having my graduation next Sunday, but that doesn't stop me from being fucking down.

First thing was stress from college. lecture

Since I'm in Advance Diploma now, things get tough. Not only the standards are higher, but it gets really costly as well. Like now, it costs USD 700+++ to take an external exam paper from Cambell University!!



But for the sake of........

For the sake of what exactly?

I have no idea why the hell I'm doing in that stupid course. I'm
not even happy in there. Why did I choose computer science?

I'm from art stream, why didn't I chose something ART related?

For now I'm actually just studying for....? The sake of my parents. 'Cause they wanted me to.

What do I actually want now?

I wanna quit this stupid course that I don't belong to and go to a much suitable course which doesn't involve logical thinking, such as maths and formulas. THEY DRIVE ME NUTS!!!

I'm a right brain person!! Which means I'm more to creativity rather than technical!

The only class I'm actually listening and interested is that Liberal Arts subject, which is Music Appreciation. This class is like a dream for me... Every t
ime I attend this class, I will feel like... am I really taking this class? And also makes me think... What the hell am I doing in a computer science course but not something related to art?

Other than music class, what did I do at the remaining classes? Sleep.

Or doing unrelated things.

Erm. Stick person.

Notes. X_X

Calvius's pencil case.

I took a few pictures in within few seconds. See how bored I was.

I also did drawings on my notes. However most of the time I was sleeping. Sigh.

Bad, but what to do? I was really bored and fed up.

It's not that I cannot take the pressure, if I'm doing something I love, but having the difficulties, I don't mind at all. But now... I'm so lost. What the hell am I doing here?

Some asked me to stop and study another course, but I refused to. Why?

My parents paid for me to study. I don't wanna waste their money and effort.

And one more thing.

I don't wanna lose to that certain someone. I thought we're SUPPOSE to be a team, not soloists. Just because you've got new friends, just because we're not at the same channel anymore doesn't mean that you are in charge, or should I say, doing everything by yourself. I thought you and her talked about this and I thought things got better.

I'm not asking you to change your new personality, all I'm asking for is you to fucking work with us as a team.

His arrogance = more stress and frustration for me.

If only life were so simple.

I know I didn't contribute much as a team member, but hey, at least I'm trying my best to complete my assigned task and not trying to be extra responsible to complete the other tasks that aren't assigned to you or keeping quiet about completing the tasks that doesn't belong to you. What are you trying to proof? Taking the credits izit?

I don't think you know what a team/group means. Well here's abit of INFO and DEFINITION for YOU.

Team - A group organized to work TOGETHER.

And you don't need me to explain what TOGETHER means.

Well I don't think you'd care what and how we felt with your selfishness, but you know what? I lost my trust on you. You can find another group member that satisfies your needs and standards? Ok? Good.

I'm not losing to you, even though I might look lazy.

And stupid.

And childish.

Let's see... What else is there to rant...

Oh yeah. I'm poor.

I've been trying to control my money 'cause *ahem* I've been using more than half of my pocket money for piano lessons. My parents don't know a thing so please keep it a secret ok? XD

So everyday at college, all I eat is really cheap food. While other's eat like 2 times during both break times, I ate only once.

Sad, but for the sake of learning piano, I'm willing to sacrifice my food. lol

Ah~ Music. =3 Part of my life, as much as comics and X Japan. =D

There's a few more problems... But let's just leave it. Love? Yeah maybe. Health? Yeah maybe that too. I'm not sure.

Sigh. The stress. Emo emo.

Here's something to brighten up your day. Guess what I saw on the back of the bus seat one day?


One of my classmate had nothing better to do and had called the number when I showed him this pic. No one picked up. lol

That's all for today, I'm gonna do my assignment now. See yas!




=::~+Reiko+~::= said...

Wei~ So stress huh????
Aiks... Gambatte la!!!
There's alot of types of ppl in this world, do ignore them when they pissed you off, especially you have so many things to take care of now....
Must be strong!!! I'm behind you~ (not just me only la, and my baby leh... haha)

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